I spend my time, trying to be like her, LOL. It's like a curse to have yourself being forced to be like a person you hate most. Who forced me? No one, it was myself.
And why the hell am I supposed to be like a fuckin' girl like her!?
No, no worth reason. It's just me who obsessed to be an adult. And why!?

Come to think of it, many people treats me like a child. Well, I don't say I hate that all things. I'm just feeling like it's not fair. I keep my good-girl image at my school. A diligent person who cares of all of her lectures and some school-stuffs, but at the end I'm just a freaking-stupid person, hah!
Keep smiling in front of my schoolmates, and friendly say, "Hi!" to them. Urgh! Disgusting!

Well, what I want to say is, "Fuck you! Don't bother me!", but I know I'd be slapped or get kicked if say such things. :\
And now, I know I'M TALKING LIKE HER. LOLOLOL
What happened to me!? What's getting into my brain!? I think I'm in an extremely happy mood because I've downloaded Nightmare new single that crazes me lately.  Err, those songs... Really awesome. It makes me even more crazier.

I just wanna be a better me. I don't want to be seen like a funny 'me' anymore. At least, only for my closest people, because I know they'd understand me. And they wouldn't say such a thing like, "You have to be yourself," or whatever else. And thinking of them makes me feel better. If I'm thinking about the best person in my life beside my family and my relatives, I'm thinking about my mother in cyberspace, Mom Neey. *grins* Such a funny things if I called her 'Mom' when I usually call her 'Mamah.' I love her like I love my mother. She's the one who can always understand me.

And when seeing her sad face while she was thinking about Sakito... It tortured me, it hurts me. I don't wanna see her crying anymore. It's not fair.

Uh, well. I'm going on and on about many things. I don't know what I'm exactly talking about. A little sleep will probably recover my stupid brain.